Predicting Divorce - who can read the crystal ball?

I have revisited this article 7 Things Science Says Predict Divorce.  Whether you are in a solid healthy relationship or you suspect trouble in paradise it might be a good idea to just check in with your partner for an evaluation regarding your relationship.  If you set up a good dialogue you might learn that you have the power to enhance your happiness while making your partner’s life easier. The data supports the high divorce rates in the United States.  With understanding divorce predictors there might be ways to combat and manage a healthy marriage. Moreover, if divorce is inevitable the real question is what type of relationship do you wish to have with your partner after the end of the union.  Many people have wonderful friendships after they divorce. Other ex’s create a FWB relationship. While some vow never...
to see one another again.  Hence, whether you end your relationship or if you are unaware of where your marriage is going understanding data is power.  Instead of avoiding these predictors I would encourage talking with your partner candidly to overcome challenges and to learn how to live with what is tolerable.  With this being said the good new is that divorce rates are decreasing in California.

In closing, we cannot predict the future or divorce with certainty.  But there are indicators that allow us to embrace situations based on historical information and data.  In the earlier mentioned article John Gottman, of the Gottman Institute, reveals his four poor relationship behaviors as the four horsemen of the apocalypse.   What I notice in my couples therapy sessions is that I feel very unnerved or vexed when these horsemen gallop into the situation. Thus, I concur with his scary-high accuracy predictors of contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling.  What is particularly noteworthy is that I would not have identified many of the predictors that are based on data in the article.

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

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