The Awkward of Sexual Health and the Moments of Discomfort, or Comfort.

Sexually Awkward Normals and Shattered Myths.

Sexuality is complicated.  One could justify using only these three words as the entire blog. However, I haven’t gotten to that point of simplicity. Thus, too much talk and emphasis on sex. Yet not enough talk and not enough emphasis on sex. What we know based on available studies is that sex is linked to improved health. Moreover, sex can be a prescription for a longer life.  But what we need ...

to recognize is that covariants (if we are talking statistics and research testing) play a part in good sex equating to good health and longevity. Now when we say sex as a link to good health and longer life there is a huge assumption that we are talking about healthy functioning sex as it equates to positive physical human contact between consenting adults.  Thus, for this discussion let us assume we are talking on the premise of WHO’s (World Health Organization) definition of healthy sex. Thus, porn, sexual addiction, STI’s (sexually transmitted infections), and conflicts to sexual derailments are not represented or addressed in this discussion.

With the dialogue of sex, one needs to slow down and reverse a bit.  And if we can have the awareness of the sexual pause, we can not help but have inquiry about Why Sex is So Unrealistic in TV and Movies.  The big screen, Hollywood, advertising, fashion and many other mediums promote a bias or skewed lens in its perception of sexuality.  Is that why sexuality, sexual behavior, and sexual intimacy becomes so complex?

Before we have this discussion of the ecstasy or the tragics of sex we need to acknowledge that couples often place too much emphasis on sex.  Whether it is self-imposed, or cultural or social, or cinema-imposed. Whether “doing the deed,” “doing the nasty,” “hooking up,” “special time,” “playtime,” “blow and go,” “bedtime,” “marital favors,” “knocking boots,” “getting nailed.” or whatever the jargon of euphemisms or explicatives there needs to be an normalization of and an understanding of the meaning of sexual practices within your relationships which would include Self gratification.  Moreover, and perhaps this is another conversation, sex and intercourse and physical contact is often overgrandised and bigger than life, over-glorified.

Henceforth, for the next few weeks we are to touch on some awkward acts of sexual engagement (as in not being nervous about asking for sex but the embarrassment of the what they don’t show in the movies sex awkward).  Additionally, we are venturing into about 24 arenas from the article All About Sexual Health which might include topics on research, sexual tips, techniques, cultural trends myths and taboos!  What I am finding is that clients often need prompting into talk about their sexuality and sexual practices.  Often they are more comfortable talking about sexual abuse, being fired, or medical illnesses before talking about their sex behaviors or their sex responsibilities or their sexual roles.  I would say that 80^% of my clients have an unease engaging in the discussion of sex, which I would categorize as a higher form of intimacy.

If we can enter this discussion of normalizing sexual behavior and understanding our defines of healthy sex, then we we can recognize the work on self pleasure, self growth, and self worth as a transition to becoming closer to the divine and art Self.

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