Generational Wounds and Systemic Damage within the Family

Each Family Member Has Their Own Vignette. What Do They Do When Each Narrative is True?

As a marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles, I am supposed to have the skills to work with individuals, families and couples.  That is a given, we get it. What is often misunderstood, and not fully recognized, is how one’s family plays an integral part in how we relate to the world, co-workers, business partners, romantic partners, marriages, children, friends and every social relationship in the lives we live.

Maria Hinojosa’s Latino USA reporting and conversations with the Quevedos family gives insight into past emotional wounds and how sensitive life experiences often shape our present and future engagement with other people.  Damage imposed upon us in our youth often reveal ...

Sociopaths are Among Us - We Might Be Dating 'em; or, married to 'em!

In the March 31, 2017 blog Sociopaths are Among Us it was stated that sociopaths have always been a fixture in our culture.  Additionally, it was presented that this population has a place and often a needed for our societal functioning. What should be discussed more is the person who finds themselves in union with the sociopath.  Whether romantically or coupled. Before we touch on this topic of marital relationships, or unions, with sociopaths, it might serve us to revisit NPR’s Inside the Mind of a Sociopath from several years ago.

When discussing societal functioning romance and marriage is not intended to be included as a positive.  The relationship with the sociopath as stated in the previous blog is dauntingly toxic to the spirit and overall emotional health of an individual.  Thus, if one is unaware that they have some relational union or is symbolically ...

The Awkward of Sexual Health and the Moments of Discomfort, or Comfort - Part 2

Sexually Awkward Normals and Shattered Myths - continued.

Last week presented the thoughts of sex being complicated.  The Awkward of Sexual Health and the Moments of Discomfort, or Comfort was the discussion.  What most of us already know is that ...

The City of Angels or the City of Sins

Can Managing Los Angeles or Struggling in Los Angeles Affect Your Mental Health?

Los Angeles can be seductive. And the seductress can be a beauty or a curse.  I once was asked where I lived. At the time I was vacationing in Mexico City and the response to my answer of “Los Angeles” was a whimsically cautious response. This response came from a naively appearing person of knowledge as a simple “Ahhhh, the city of sinners.” I was dumbfounded as he smiled with innocence and juxtaposed the undercurrent of personified angels who had demonic traits. Or is that demons who had angelic traits. Los Angeles indeed can be a trap. Hollywood, beautiful tanned bodies, ethnic mosaics of extraordinary beauty, Greek sculptured bodies, perfect hair, eclectic styles, alternative visuals, ink-art-tattoos of the provocative.  Seduction. Wealth. So much wealth that Los Angeles County as of 2017 reported 58 Billionaires.  With so much indulgence how could anyone be depressed or unhappy?  Moreover, how could anyone not succeed in the mecca of opportunities?  This might be answered by ...

The Awkward of Sexual Health and the Moments of Discomfort, or Comfort.

Sexually Awkward Normals and Shattered Myths.

Sexuality is complicated.  One could justify using only these three words as the entire blog. However, I haven’t gotten to that point of simplicity. Thus, too much talk and emphasis on sex. Yet not enough talk and not enough emphasis on sex. What we know based on available studies is that sex is linked to improved health. Moreover, sex can be a prescription for a longer life.  But what we need ...

The 'Tour of Grief' - Is an Ocra Mother any different than any other Mother?

Managing the Death of Your Child and How Do We Do this? There is No Correct Answer.

I came across this story of an Ocra carrying her dead calf, grieving, yet longing for the life, or rebirth, of her newborn. The story in some ways might grab the human cord of emotions.  It is a dissonant feel because although it is not a human engagement the Ocra experience represents a quest for the understanding of a mother’s most anguished plight.  I worked with pregnant teens and adolescent mothers for several years when I first became a therapist in Los Angeles. This was by far the most connected I have felt to the maternal process of life and the meaning of motherhood.

Hence, I often feel I have an appreciation for what young mothers encounter during adversities. Despite this self-proclaimed insight, I know so very little. Soon after feeling this story of an Ocra mother I read a human narrative in What It’s Like Being A Mother Of 2 When Only 1 Of My Children Is Alive. I think we often avoid embracing the loss and the lives lived of the dead.  This further had me reflect on my collegiate years as a gymnast when my coach’s wife disclosed ...